Heaven Is For Real

I recently read the book "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo.

The book is about Colton Burpo, a little boy who went to Heaven during an emergency appendix surgery. I was drawn (although rather skeptically) to this book because of the idea of a preschool perspective of Heaven. The book is a simple read, and as I was reading it I noticed a few things that pertained to children's ministry.

First, Todd Burpo speaks extensively about he and his wife's parenting approach. He speaks often of stories that he had shared with his son. He also spoke extensively about his attempts to not lead Colton into giving the answers that Todd wanted. This gave some great children's ministry pointers.

Second, Todd Burpo talks about how his church has changed their children's ministry. Colton kept telling his parents that "Jesus really, really loves the children." This revolutionized the way they recruited for children's ministry. Instead of half-heartedly asking for help, the church now works hard to encourage people to serve the children in the church. I believe strongly that some people are not called to children's ministry, but I also think often we take excuses way too easily.

Now when I ran into those same excuses (for not doing children's ministry), I lovingly remind people that Jesus clearly viewed children as precious-and that if He loved kids enough to say that adults should be more like them, we should be spending more time loving them too. Todd Burpo, 107.

I am really not qualified to talk about comfort for women who have lost children through miscarriages, but in the book Colton talks about meeting a little sister who died after 2 months in the womb. As he describes his sister, and later in the book as his dad shares with other people who have lost children, I wonder if this wouldn't be a good read to encourage someone who has lost a child.

If you get a chance, I would strongly suggest that you read this book.

6-2 Rule

We know that our children's ministry goal is to grow children spiritually, emotionally, physically and intellectually. As we achieve this goal, we need to make sure that our children's area is a safe,secure place. Sadly, I've heard many people call churches the last frontier for predators. Schools and most other organizations are beefing up security to keep predators out. However, due to ignorance and often trusting God to protect us, many times our churches fall flat on the security issue.

All to often we think of churches as having a big God-bubble around us that will protect us. I believe strongly that God wants to protect His children and that He does reward due diligence.

Some call it the 62 rule, some call it the 6-2 rule, some call it the 2-6 rule, and some call it the 26 rule. It really doesn't matter what it's called, it needs to implemented in your church.

What is the 6-2 rule? Simply put it's a simple way to provide safety and security when it comes to volunteers in your ministry.

First, volunteers should be members of the church for at least 6 months before working in the children's department. Typically, a predator will not hang around your church for 6 months waiting to get at your kids. They tend to hop from place to place seeking a church with quick access to children.

When you allow volunteers to join your children's ministry, please use an application process and get background checks on potential volunteers. Keep a file on all your volunteers and your children's director. This shows your volunteers, parents, and authorities that your church is serious about keeping kids safe.

Now that 6 is covered, what does 2 mean? 2 means that you should NEVER have less than 2 volunteers in a room alone with children. Also, married couples count as one person. The reason for this is that legally a spouse cannot testify against their spouse in court. 2 adults in the room protect the children, but it also protects an adult from being accused of something that she/he didn't do.

A few other suggestions to make sure you don't set yourself up for suspicion. If taking a child to the bathroom, make sure you are never alone in the bathroom with him/her. I try to stand outside the bathroom door if at all possible. If you do find yourself in a position where you are the only adult in the room with children, keep the door open. This prevents any speculation or false accusation.

I know many people are probably reading this and rolling their eyes. It seems like excess, and I pray that you are never in a position where you or someone in your church is being accused of child abuse during services. However, if it happens, your church needs to be able to prove that it did everything it could to prevent the situation from happening. The 6-2 rule along with keeping a file on each volunteer with applications, background checks, and reports on any situation that may occur will help your church to prove in court that you did everything possible to protect the children in your ministry.

Sadly, there are many stories of churches that did not try to protect their kids and volunteers. After the person accused of child abuse was prosecuted, the families often sued the church, and possibly the association and state convention for not taking due diligence. Please don't get yourself in this situation!

Why does this matter?

As a church we want to protect all of our children. We also want to do as much as we can to protect our volunteers from being suspected of evil.

Modeling Modesty

It seems like everyone is talking about kids and modesty these days. Everything from chain stores marketing push-up bras to CNN stories on "dressing kids like tramps" (their word, not mine!). As children's leaders I think we need to double check how we dress as well.

Sunday I did something I rarely do. I wore a dress to church. The dress was perfectly modest, it fell just above the knee and was sleeveless. The neckline was high enough that the lack of sleeves was not a problem. Although it had a jacket to go with it, the jacket didn't stay on because it got hot. Typically I don't wear dresses because in the children's ministry area it's a little harder to bend and move in a dress. Not impossible, but harder. However, I was preparing to work with older children, so I decided it was okay. Besides, it was Easter. The whole southern "dress up on Easter" is still slightly ingrained in my head. I got through the first service with no problem. Then before second service I was asked to keep the nursery. The preschool teachers were a little late, so I ended up with 5 preschoolers and 2 toddlers in a room. The preschoolers knew they were in the "baby room," and let me tell you, they weren't happy! So the children's director did what every good teacher does, pulled out the Cheerios.

If you know anything about this age group, food tastes so much better off the floor and the nursery has no place to sit down and eat. I ended up picking up piles of cheerios off the floor. At this point I was beginning to wish I was wearing pants. Between comforting a screaming toddler when her cousin got to go to the preschool room, leaving her behind, and trying to get the cereal before it was totally ground into the carpet, I was doing a lot of moving and bending. It wasn't a major problem, but I was glad I had selected a slightly longer "Easter dress."

Am I saying a dress is bad for the nursery? No. Not at all. As long as it's modest.

When you are preparing to teach in the children's ministry, consider your clothes. Children make clothing more of a challenge because they tend to pull on clothes, sometimes making something that is appropriate seem a little, ummm... inappropriate. I'm not saying don't dress nicely. I'm just asking that you make sure that the way that you dress doesn't make working with children harder on you.

Ask yourself some questions as you dress for children's ministry.

First, what will the temperature be like? My church's sanctuary is usually freezing, but the children's area is a sauna. Mix that with movement and you can get pretty hot. Make sure that whatever you are wearing will make you comfortable.

Second, am I covered, and will I stay covered? Try doing the "Hallelujah test." If you can raise your hands all the way and not show your midriff, you are probably okay. Bend over to make sure that nothing sneaks out in the front or back when you are bending to pick up a child. Are your skirts long enough that you can bend over or sit on the floor without revealing anything?

Thirdly, can I move and be comfortable in what I'm wearing? Children's ministry usually involves a lot of activity. Can you jump and move without having to worry about "wardrobe malfunction?" If the baby your holding pulls on your shirt, will everything be displayed?

Fourthly, would I be okay seeing one of the kids I work with wearing my outfit? Lately the CNN article "Parent's Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps" has brought a lot of attention to how kids dress. Be an example of a better way, especially to your preteen girls! They have a lot of messages being thrown at them! Kids love their favorite teachers, and we don't want to send a message that wearing something is okay if it's not. Think, would I want to see the girls in my class wearing clothes like this?

I'm not asking you to walk around in high neck clothes and dresses to your knees. Honestly, an appropriate tank top won't be a problem if it fits and doesn't show too much. The same is true with skirts. We are sending messages to children with everything we say and do. Please don't let your clothes be a stumbling block for a little one.

Mission Teams: We Want You Back....But...

It's happened to anyone who has taken a mission trip. We go, we work, we fall in love with the place. Then that special kid, or person you met, or whoever asks the question, "are you coming back?" God has really given you a great time on this trip, and you've had fun and really developed a heart for the place, so you say, "yes! I'll be back next summer!"

What's wrong with this picture.....well....fast forward into the future.

You really did have a great time, and you'd love to come back....but...

God opened a door for another trip and you feel led to go...so you don't go back.

Your church decides to go somewhere else next year and there is no trip...so you don't go back.

The excitement of the week fades and although you have fond memories...you don't go back.

Life gets busy...you didn't realize you needed that summer school class...you get a new job and don't have vacation time...you don't go back.

You get sick...you don't go back.

Meanwhile, somewhere there is a kid asking the missionary or leader in her church, when is ____________ coming back.

Mission teams, let me be clear...as missionaries we LOVE having you come and help us out. There is a lot of progress that can be made when a mission team comes. Your heartstrings are pulled, and hopefully you will pray, keep in touch, and come back. However, you don't know your future. God may be calling you to do work somewhere else or life may happen. That's okay.

Please, when you take a mission trip, don't make a promise to be back the next time, because there may not be a next time. You can say I want to come back. You can even say I might come back. But, please don't promise to come back.

Let me give you an example from the other side. I took some kids somewhere a few days ago. The girl asked if I would be here for VBS. I said no, I had to leave before then. She said, "okay, I really liked __________, will she be back?" "No," I said, "I heard she was going to _________." "Okay then, will __________ be back?" "No, she moved somewhere else. She doesn't go to that church anymore." In this case I knew where the people were and what they were doing, but I don't always know.

This went on for quite awhile as my heart broke for the girl. She doesn't understand that things come up. She only understands that someone made a promise that they didn't keep. Don't get me wrong, she will have a good time at VBS. Maybe a mission team will come, maybe not. If they don't that's okay. If they do, will someone else accidentally break a promise?

Let me be clear, I would LOVE to come back to Reno. Honestly, I would even LOVE to live here again. However, I don't know what God holds in my future. So when I get asked when I'm coming back, I say "I don't know. Hopefully someday."

Update on the *Elaine Situation

A few weeks ago I told you about *Elaine, a girl who refused to speak to me. I had guessed that she was upset about me moving. I was right. After sending her a note, she started speaking to me again.

Since then I took her out for pizza once. She was very excited and it was a great time to talk and catch up.

Friday I took her and her brother on a "special trip" to the Jelly Belly Factory in Fairfield, California. It was a great time and Elaine had a lot of fun. She asked a bunch of questions and was really interested in a makeup compact that a friend left in my car years ago. I never think about it because it's in the passenger door and I'm just never in the passenger seat! She stared at the colors for most of the drive. Although they had both been to the factory multiple times, they enjoyed the tour. Several times Elaine said, "you haven't seen this before, so you can stand up front!" It was sweet. Elaine has a givers heart, and I was reminded of that several times. When she was given $5 to spend at the factory, she gave up a jawbreaker she really wanted to be able to buy something for her sister. After the factory we got in the car and headed through rush hour traffic to Chik-Fil-A, a place that neither of the kids had every been to before. It was exciting for them.

The reward of the trip for me came at church on Sunday when Elaine ran up and gave me a big hug! I am so glad that she had a great time, and now I think she knows that she can call me anytime!

What To Do With Easter?

It's Easter Sunday. The kids are hyper because of the special day. Don't forget that you have a great opportunity. People go to church on Easter who will not go most Sundays. Also, it's a holiday centered around Christ rising from the dead!

First, egg hunts are not bad! However, if all you do while you have kids in your class on Easter Sunday is play and hunt eggs, you just missed an amazing opportunity to share Christ with kids who may never set foot in your class ever again.

Have a lesson and activities that point to the Salvation message. If you want, I wrote a previous post on Resurrection Eggs, a great way to share the message of Easter with kids. The kids will be excited to see what comes out of the next egg! See my previous post "Easter (and Annie) is Coming."

Don't forget to give kids the opportunity to respond to the salvation message! Keep the message simple and understandable, but always share the message!

I truly hope you will take the opportunity to invite people to church and share Christ this Easter.

VBS Salvation Day

It seems really early to be talking about VBS but I've got been in VBS mode for a few months now. I thought I'd talk a little about Salvation day.

The good news is Lifeway gives us an outline for Salvation Day. The ABC's give us a great opportunity to share Christ by using Admit, Believe, and Confess. Please don't forget to involve scripture as you share your ABC's.

"If you haven't committed your life to Jesus, you are lost. You need to be saved. If you would like to give your heart to Jesus then come forward and make a profession of faith."

Many of us have heard an invitation similar to the one above. Let me translate what a child hears. "Wait, what does commit mean? Oh yeah, I got lost in Walmart last year. It was scary. Wait, I thought he said I was lost, what's this talk about being saved? My daddy saved me when I climbed up in the tree last year and couldn't get down. Give my heart to Jesus, do I need surgery? Why does Jesus need my heart? Oh cool, I get to move now! We've been sitting a long time! Profession, I'm too young to work. My dad is a doctor.......

What we are communicating is not necessarily what we mean to communicate. I'm going to talk about some ways to make the invitation at VBS a little more understandable.

First, of all, involve your pastor in salvation day. If you have children's church your kids probably rarely get to see your pastor. Pastors are also the "hero" of the church in a child's mind. This is a great opportunity for him to really connect with the kids. Having said that, your pastor may need children and salvation training before presenting the message of salvation.

Secondly, watch your language. Instead of the invitation given earlier, I could have said something like: "We just talked about the ABC's, Admit, Believe, and Confess. If you have never trusted Jesus to forgive you and help you every day, then you can make that choice today. We talked about how everyone has sinned, and that the penalty for sin is death. God sent his Son Jesus to die so that we wouldn't have to be punished for our sins, but we have to make a choice to accept the gift God gave. When we trust Jesus to forgive us for the things we do that displease him, we can be saved when we commit to live for Jesus for the rest of our lives. If you want to talk to someone about trusting Jesus, you can _______________ (whatever your plan is to talk to children individually).

Avoid situations where children feel pressured to come forward (or not to come forward). Commitment cards are great ways for kids to express a desire for talking to someone about the salvation. Each child who makes a decision deserves to be talked to one on one. In a group setting you will always have a more outgoing kid dominate while you have no idea what the other child is thinking.

A few years ago I was helping out at a sports camp here in Reno. On salvation day I was counseling two girls, one who really was interested in salvation, another who really wanted to be near Miss. Jenn. It was really hard to share with the girl who was interested. Make sure you have enough volunteers ready to talk to kids who want to make a decision!

I hope this helps you as you think about salvation day this summer.

Donations: To Take or Not To Take?

Okay, I will be the first to admit that most of the time our church nursery/preschool budgets leave a lot to be desired. When church members are willing to donate things, our ministry is helped greatly.

However, we need to be careful when accepting donations. A toy or furniture that is falling apart is not acceptable for the nursery.

Here are some things to think about before accepting donations:

1. Is the item safe? Recently new regulations have been made that prevent the use of drop-side cribs. If you know it's been recalled, don't accept it! Also, glider rockers are considered more safe than traditional rockers because there isn't as much chance of a child hanging out under the leg of your rocker. Use common sense, your nursery should always be clean and safe.

2. Does the item have tears or missing parts? Hand me downs should be good quality. If something is torn it gives the impression to visitors that the nursery is unclean. Missing parts make for hazards.

3. Is the item clean? If it is stained or dirty, don't accept it! You want your nursery/preschool to be inviting!

3. Can it be cleaned and sanitized easily? Cloth and foam are nightmares to sanitize. Unless you want to spend all your time washing toys, don't bother. Speaking of which, seats for exersaucers and baby chairs are great, but they need to be washed often. Don't forget!

4. Does the item fit with your ministry goals? Educational books are good. So are Bible story books. However, if your church has a policy that only "christian" related books are accepted, considering rejecting the item.

Parents are looking for clean safe places to leave their kids. If it's not clean or safe, don't accept it!

The kids are escaping! Why Can't I Lock the Door?

"Suzie keeps running out of the room. What do I do?" Occassionally churches will have problems with children running out the door before the class is over. This can cause problems ranging from disrupting service to a child getting lost or hurt. We must do everything we can to protect the children in our ministries and a tempting solution is to lock the door. I have heard this discussed at several churches, so I thought I would address it.

Recently I was having a conversation with two other ladies. They were discussing volunteers wanting to lock the door to keep the kids inside. I had to laugh because we had three very different responses, but all three were very practical reasons to keep the door unlocked.

The first response was, "what if a teacher got hurt? No one could get to the kids." I believe strongly in the "two adult rule," that an adult should NEVER be alone with children in a ministry situation! More on that later. However, if something did happen and both teachers were injured, someone needs to be able to get into the room to help. A locked door prevents people from entering, but child safety door knobs give outside access without letting toddlers leave the room. A question was raised about the kids not being able to open the door in case of an emergency with the teacher. Great question. However, if you've been around enough kids, you know that if something were to happen, the kids would begin to scream and someone from the sanctuary or neighboring classes would hear them. If the door is unlocked someone from the outside can enter.

The second response was, "we don't want anyone to be accused of child abuse!" Once again, this is a valid concern. The two adult rule is so important here! An adult should never be alone with a child, to protect the children and the adult. Folks, it's time to get serious. God forbid you ever have to deal with child abuse in your church, however, you better be combating the issue before it happens. Well meaning volunteers can be put into a situation too easily where they are falsly accused of inappropriate behavior. Please don't give parents any opportunity to question your integrity! Secondly, no matter how much screening a church does, occassionally a person makes it through the screening process who should not be dealing with children. If you keep the doors unlocked (preferably with a window in the door as well) and keep two volunteers in the room, you eliminate opportunity for predators to have easy access to your children.

The third response was, "locking children in the room is against fire code!" The fire department requires that in case of fire all rooms be easily accessible. We do not want an emergency to happen and be slowed down getting out of the building.

When children are in our care, we have a great responsibility to take care of their physical and spiritual needs. Therefore, we need to think before we lock the door. Lets make sure that we avoid all appearances of evil as we seek to protect our kids.