I have been incredibly fascinated with culture shock over the past 3 years. Why? Because I experienced it head-on in Reno. Now I'm in New Orleans and fully expect to deal with the ugly (and sometimes interesting) monster that is culture stress.
I realize that most of the time we expect to experience this with international living, but watch a person adjust from a small town to big city (or vice versa) or from region to region and you will notice what I'm talking about. Why did I put this on a kids ministry blog? At 24-27 I dealt with culture shock and for awhile it was ugly. Reno friends, I love you and would not change my experiences there for anything in the world; please forgive me for any wrong ways I dealt with culture shock. Although kids are known for bouncing back quickly, they also like stability, and a move can rock the need for stability.
I got my information on culture shock from a website that I thought did a great job of explaining the 4 stages of culture shock. You can find the link here.
As I talk I will be going back and forth between my own experiences and what you may want to be looking for in your classroom if you have a child new to the area.
1. The first stage of culture shock is excitement (or the honeymoon stage). This is a new experience and the excitement is great. You may have experienced this stage on vacation.
When I first moved to Reno, my church was coming on a mission trip and I had a great time with them, but I have to admit I was an emotional wreck while they were there. The main reason...they were on a mission trip, I was staying. This terrified me. However, after they left I cried a last tear and jumped into learning my new strange culture. Sometimes I felt like I was in a different culture. I had gone from the south to the west, from a small town to a pretty good sized city. The first thing that I discovered was that southerners are not assertive at all-and I was now working in an office at a church with possibly the most assertive woman I had ever met! It was exciting to get to know the people and explore the places. I loved being able to find my way around! My birthday came during the excitement phase, and everyone was so friendly it didn't really bother me being away from home. Christmas was coming and I was going home, so I invited a new friend from Reno to come with me. I think this was because my new culture felt so exciting and strange that going into my home culture didn't feel real. It was (for the most part) a great experience for both of us, and I learned a lot about my new culture from watching her interact. In the meantime, she fell in love with my old culture.
You may notice that after a new child in your class gets comfortable, they start exploring the classroom and what you do. They are in a fun and exciting time in their life.
2. Stage 2 is withdrawal. The honeymoon stage is over and the person has realized that this strange place is where they are going to be for quite awhile. Suddenly the differences in the culture are strange and frustrating. At this point the culture becomes very frustrating and the person may act out through withdrawal or through anger towards the new culture.
Stage 2 hit me hard around summer. VBS has started, and although it was a fun experience, I was realizing that I was not in the south anymore! I was the VBS director at church that year, and things weren't going as "southern" as I wanted! Changes in plans and things not going my way really frustrated me! The same mission team was in town that week too, and being able to vent to one sympathetic ear was a lifesaver! The summer went on and I continued to see that I really had moved out of my comfort zone. I withdrew quite a bit, but I also got a little too "assertive" when dealing with at least one of the VBS's that summer. I'm human, I wish I hadn't, but I feel that I have to be honest with you.
The child experiencing stage 2 may get very quiet and talk about missing home. Encourage him and try to be understanding. He may also begin to act out and start telling you your doing it wrong because his other teacher didn't do it that. Please have grace with this child, I promise it will get better!
Stage 3 is adjustment. The person has begun to understand the culture and accepts it. The person no longer feels isolated.
This was a great time for me. I had really taken an interest in getting to know people better. I didn't quite think like a westerner, but I understood how they were thinking and could relate better with them. At the end of my adjustment time I went home for Christmas. Home felt strange. I loved spending time with my family, but being surrounded by southern accents felt very weird to me. After 2 weeks I was ready to get back to Nevada.
Be sure to affirm the student as he deals with adjustment. He will be more open to you and the way you do things.
Stage 4 is enthusiasm. The person is now comfortable in the culture and is at home. The person probably will have accepted certain culture traits and maybe prefer those traits to their home culture. The person may have even adopted many of their cultural traits.
Stage 4 wasn't a stage I noticed much, except that I found myself relaxing. I didn't have to think so much about how to deal with people in my environment. Introducing people to my home was a great time! I had figured out assertiveness and could use it pretty well. When I left Nevada it was really a sad time. I was going to miss this culture and as I dealt with the excitement of being home for a few months, I found myself longing for aspects of that "once strange culture" that had now become a huge part of me, and in many ways, "home".
I know over the next few months and years I will probably experience the same emotions as I learn this new culture in New Orleans. I look forward to the adventure.
I hope this was helpful and would love for you to comment and give me some of your own "culture shock" stories, but internationally and domestically.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
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