When Communication Gets Tough

*Elaine is a 10 year old I met after I moved to Reno and have had a great time building a relationship and getting to know her. We've had some great times during Bible study, missions class, and just hanging out doing fun things throughout the area.

Knowing how she typically responds to people leaving, her mother asked me to go ahead and start preparing her for my leaving six months before the time of me leaving. This went great for the first few months, but then she totally quit talking. I would say hi to her and she would walk off. I tried confrontation, I even tried a small attempt at bribery.

A few times I asked if she wanted to go do something. The first time I asked I sent her mom a text message. Elaine debated for a long time and said she wanted to hang out with her dad. A few weeks later I asked her mom if I could take her to lunch. Her mom went back to the room she was in and came back and said she didn't want to go. She didn't want to tell me that, but she didn't want to go. She didn't want me to be mad.

I wasn't really surprised because I know that she was dealing with the loss (even though it hasn't happened yet) as best she could. However, I didn't want her to have regrets after I leave and I didn't want the next two months to be as awkward as the past two.

I began to think of what I know of Elaine. She is a pro at the silent treatment! However, while she is being silent it is always obvious that something is happening in her head. I have learned that she will write letters and express much more honestly how she feels through written word than expressing thoughts verbally. Most of her prayer requests are also written.

I wrote her a note. I told her that I really liked her and was happy to have gotten to know her. I was going to miss her, and I hoped we could do something together soon, but I know it's hard for her right now. I told her when she decided she wanted to do something just to tell her mom and we will work it out.

The next day her mom brought me a letter, laughing about being the go-between. I will not tell you what she said in respect to privacy, but things were said that she needed to let out.

I haven't seen Elaine since I wrote the letter, but I am confident that communication lines will be open from now on.

*Name has been changed